For those of you who’ve clicked on ‘scoc’ on one of my previous and wondered why the blog’s vanished into thin air, it’s because I changed my URL.
Here’s the new link for those of you who desire it:
http://a-monument-to-all-of-your-sins.tumblr.com
And remember bloggers; don’t ask, don’t tell.
Dead is probably an understatement. It’s deader than dead (although I’m not too sure how exactly that’s possible in any way, shape or form). It’s a horrible shame, too - not only have I let you, my followers down, but I’ve also let myself down. I have no cohesive, written recollection of anything this year, and you have no real insight into both my life and VCE life in general.
So, it saddens me to say, that this may be the last post you ever see on this blog. Quite literally am I tearing up - this blog feels like an extension of myself, and yet telling myself that someday I WILL return is an outright lie.
The AYITLOAY12 project was always destined to have a limited lifespan, but I could have never imagined that it would meet its fate sooner than necessary. It comes down to a combination of my poor, poor attention span; the underestimated intensity of Year 12; and my horrible habit of procrastination.
For those of you who actually care about this blog or myself, fear not for I have a second blog which can be found at:
Someday, I may return to the AYITLOAY12 project to do a ‘what have I learnt in life’ segment. Perhaps I may even re-ignite the flame, and begin writing my week-long recounts once more. I make no promises, so don’t watch this blog tirelessly, awaiting the next post.
To my followers and to my friends… This is goodbye. Please follow the other blog above if you wish to keep in touch or view my similarly in-depth stories and rambles, but if not… Farewell, my friends, and thank you for everything.
Wow, what a week it’s been. So much has happened, but much of the social side of things was a mere prelude to the Sunday that just ended.
First off, this entry I’ve dubbed ‘the last train out of sorrow’. Why, you may ask? Well, for the first time in a long time, I’ve achieved emotional stability. No apter a word but ‘sorrow’ could have described me before now; I was in a bad way mentally and emotionally. Not depressed, mind you, I’d already surpassed that phase. I was more ‘messed up’ - I didn’t know what I felt, who I felt for, whether I was happy or sad, whether life was a blessing or a curse…
For someone such as me, who craves and requires a solid control over their thoughts and emotions at all times, it was torture. But I’m certain that much of that is now where it should remain - behind me.
Anyway, enough deep and meaningful descriptions of the title, on with the recounts!
Day 1 (Monday) this week started off simultaneously on the right foot and the wrong foot. Strangely enough, despite it being my weakest subject and having every lesson first thing in the morning, I aced all the questions fired my way in Physics, which is odd; I never understand anything in that class. That said, as a result of my severe procrastination, I failed the Physics section of my interim reports for unfinished homework…
In Legal Studies, we briefly looked at the Australian Constitution. Legal’s probably my strongest subject - I retain information in Legal better than I do any other class.
In Drama, I came very close to finishing our Drama script for our group’s Ensemble performance. Much to my surprise, the most counterproductive member of our group had begun to give me valid pointers. Despite my shock, I capitalized on the new-found help in case it vanished again.
After school came work. I had a terrible shift; I was running late for everything and kept forgetting client’s names. That said, the walk home was much appreciated because of loud Muse blasting through my ears and a text session with a good friend (you’ll be hearing more of this ‘good friend’ further in this post).
Upon arrival at home, I ate dinner, prepared for bed and continued texting the same friend until it was time for sleep.
Tuesday was an iffy day. It began with an English SAC (school assessed coursework) on the play Così by Louis Nowra. This would have been all well and good, if not for the two simpletons in my English class who swore at the teacher, yelled as we tried to prepare and then stormed out exclaiming ‘I’m not doing this fucking shit’. Oh, I can definitely sense a promising future in some godforsaken prison or rehab centre for the pair of them… Also, a shout-out to our Music department head, who had a loud two minute argument with our English teacher during our SAC as to why one of my friends should come with him for a flute lesson, rather than perform the SAC that goes towards her Study Score… sigh some people aren’t the brightest around.
Next up was Further Maths however, and it was a LOT more favourable - partly because I had no distractions and was able to bring my textbook questions up-to-date; and partly because it was only a half lesson due to a school assembly.
The school assembly was… Awkward, to say the least. I was required as part of my captain duties to hand out badges to all the good little boys and girls in the Student Representative Council, or SRC for short. That didn’t go so well. Here I am, in front of 800 odd kids… And I drop all the badges. In full view of the school. On top of that, I handed out the rong badges to the wrong kids and took too long in handing them out anyway. No-one bar a few of the organizers mentioned my slip-ups though, so I got off scot-free.
From there came my ‘study periods’. You want to know how much study was achieved? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not a damn thing. Instead, I sat and played my iPod… Not the wisest choice in year 12 but hey, to work I need a work drive to use.
Work went better than Monday by leaps and bounds. On my walk home after my shift, I decided to go it alone -just me and my music. I didn’t Facebook, I didn’t text people, I just walked and pondered on my life.
When I got home however, I immediately began talking to that ‘good friend’, and we continued talking until I needed to sleep.
Wednesdays… I hate Wednesdays. They consist of all six classes crammed into the one day, which results not only in minimal time to complete ANY task but also a lot of running to and fro like Benny Hill to get to class. That said, I can walk home from school rather than work on Wednesdays, so it’s not a total loss.
Anyway, this Wednesday began with a heaping plate of Maths and Drama. In Maths, I commenced writing out notes into my shiny new 240 page Maths notebook.
Drama, on the other hand, consisted of a slight power struggle. It’s sad really; I’m willing to give the other people in our ensemble group a voice and a say in the scriptwriting business, but as soon as something is suggested that I disapprove of, BAM out comes the metaphorical swastika and I refuse to let changes occur. I guess I’m a team player - but only if I’m leading the team.
From there came my Study Period (affectionately known by the year 12 community as ‘frees’) and English. My free was another dull experience, completely devoid of work ethic and rational thought. English wasn’t all that better - but at least I got some more of that SAC done.
Lunch was where things really began to take off. At the very end, my ‘good friend’ gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wasn’t expecting it, and was taken slightly off-guard, but I liked it none the less.
Perhaps the warm and fuzzy thoughts that went racing through my brain resulted in my sudden drop in Physics skills, although I think perhaps I’m just looking to excuse the inexcusable. I forgot how to rearrange formulae. That statement right there is enough to make every respectable mathematician and scientist in the world order my swift execution, but I kid you not, I forgot the most basic part of any algebraic equation.
I would have said Legal was more favorable, but it wasn’t - we just briefly touched on the Franklin River Dam case before we had to go home.
After a walk home with nothing but me, my music and a Slurpee, I talked briefly and then packed it in for the night.
Thursday went off to a flying start; in my frees I continued writing out Maths notes the entire time. Strange how the years most and least unproductive frees occur in the same week.
Legal was next, and to pull back on the modesty a bit, I completely trumped my classmates in a pop quiz. Our teacher began asking us bits and pieces of the Constitution, and I regurgitated the answers off the top of my head, no notes required.
Lunch marked a milestone in my life: I was never one for public displays of affection, but then was the most public display of emotion. Ever. Who with, you may ask? Well, none other than my ‘good friend’; shortly I’ll explain why I’m using the term in inverted commas. I received another kiss on the cheek, but this time I was prepared and was able to live in the brief moment.
I couldn’t walk home today due to poor weather; so I instead got a lift home and did Homework. While doing homework however I suddenly got into one of my introspective moods, which consisted of a curious mix of anger and sadness at the injustices I’d suffered in the past.
Taking this as a poor omen, I swiftly departed for bed, ready for a new day. Well, that and the fact it was too difficult to get onto MSN due to a crackdown on technology…
I didn’t sleep that night because I was thinking, and so as a result I began Friday in a coffee-less, sleep deprived blur. My younger brother went off quite happily to the F1, and I went off into a fun filled Physics class where I sat and began a report on Projectile motion.
Recess wasn’t enjoyable - I had no time to spend with any of my friends because of a Club 80 meeting (for year 12s looking to receive an ATAR of 80+).
From Recess came Drama, and our ensemble script was finally completed, ending a long and painful chapter in creative design. Drama blended into a school production meeting, which ate my lunchtime so once again I was unable to spend time with my friends.
After completing my Così SAC and running some work off to our Physics teacher, I walked to an awaiting lift home, went to work, came home again and went to sleep after talking to my ‘good friend’.
Woke up early on Saturday because I’d scored myself a gig dressing up as our work’s mascot in a parade. There’s something immensely satisfying in making hundreds of children either jump in excitement at seeing a giant cartoonish animal walking up a street, or watching them scream in fear as they head for the nearest shelter.
After finishing up, me and my workmate had a walk around the festival and then returned home. Upon arrival, I leaped on the nearest xbox controller like a hungry lion to a steak, and sat down for a good ol’ Halo Reach sesh.
Shortly after entering my fifth round, however, I was whisked away to visit my Nanna in hospital. Recently she had major surgery on her remaining kidney, and is in recovery. Once we’d finished our visit, we went to Pizza Hut for dinner. My friends, there is no words to describe how truly awesome an all-you-can-eat pizza and dessert buffet is.
…and what better way to polish off enough junk food to sink a ship than with MSN? I got on and talked until 2:30 in the morning, to a friend who felt the world was bearing down on his shoulders. Being the helpful soul I am, I sympathized and offered advice.
However the ironic thing is as soon as he was feeling better, I was briefly confronted with a manifestation of the past that threatened to undermine MY good mood. I was not impressed.
Sometimes I guess, one has to burn bridges to ensure nothing follows you.
Sunday was… Wow. Amazing. Not many words could describe it. It’s a completely foreign experience, in all my seventeen long years of living.
I woke up, got myself ready and went out to meet my ‘good friend’ at my old primary school, a place filled to the brim with both good and bad memories for both of us.
Before I go any further, I’m going to explain why I keep referring to this mysterious girl as my ‘good friend’. Usually, whenever I use inverted commas it denotes sarcasm or some other derogatory underline. However, this is completely different. She’s not merely a ‘good friend’… She’s now my girlfriend.
Yes, right there, sitting on the edge of the basketball courts where we’d play on occasionally as young children, hands linked together and cuddling, I asked her out.
It wasn’t how I’d envisaged it. I was going to take her to where I’d rejected her as a naive eight year old and ask her there, for the sake of sheer symbolism. But, as I realized as I told her my plan, that sometimes the most memorable moments are the most simplistic ones.
We walked across town to the gym together, hand-in-hand, not a care in the world. Upon arriving at the gym, we embraced each other and she gave her usual kiss on the cheek. This time, however, I returned the favour. She was giggling like a shy schoolgirl as we parted, but me? I had a grin that the Cheshire Cat would envy with all his soul.
Immediately I thought of my best mate, who’d threatened to beat me senseless if I’d chickened out and not asked her, so I walked to his place and gave him a brief overview of how the day went.
After he introduced me to League of Legends, I left his place and walked to a local fish and chip shop with my earphones in and the Cheshire grin still adorning my face. I met up with my family, we went home and I capped the perfect day off with some fish and chips, a good movie and conversation with my girlfriend.
Well, there’s my life for week one. I’m positive that this week, above all else, will remain in my heart and mind for a long time to come.
Until next week, my friends and followers, stay safe, stay strong, stay happy.
